the one where the single girl bitches about a fake holiday
"Saudi Morality Police See Red Over Valentine Roses"from Reuters Oddly Enough - It is about time someone was punished over this stupid f***ing "holiday!"
If you don't want to read yet another rant by yet another single woman regarding the "holiday that shall not be named" then please peruse some of our lovely links and cross your fingers that Tina posts and knocks me out of the primary position.
You can't you blame me, can you? V-Day is not just hated by single people, a lot of folks in relationships hate it, too. It is even possible that married men may hate this holiday more than single women as they are the ones having to deal with the pressure of coming up with the perfect gift/dinner/movie/roll in the hay/jewelry. Are you feeling me? I mean, even when I was in a relationship, the V-Day pressure sucked. You want to do enough but not too much; you don't want to come up short but, at the same time, you can't overdo and make your V-Day partner look like a schmuck.
Obviously, I have no V-Day partner this year, so my personal plan in dealing with the day is to:
#1 - Make preparations early: any food, movies, tampons, shoes, or other necessities must be purchased in advance in order to avoid the pitying glances of 16 yoa acne-faced drive-through window workers. (Note: one should NEVER order pizza or any other food that might be delivered in a marked car as all of one's neighbors, as well as the pizza delivery boy, will pity you.) Dinner with your parents or friends in any type of a relationship should be avoided. The best way to deal with the day is to either go it alone or hook up with several other single friends for a casual dinner at home.
#2 - Restaurants should be avoided as most of the customers will be either deliriously happy or pretending to be deliriously happy. This could cause the gag reflex to kick in while eating which could lead to choking and dying on V-Day. Then anytime anyone sees your tombstone he/she will always observe "Oh, shit, she died on V-Day. How sad."
#3 - Avoidance is probably the best way to deal with co-workers. Spending the day at your desk appearing to be ridiculously busy and hard at work should keep the average chatters at bay. You MUST go out to lunch to avoid co-worker downtime talking. (Also this would be a good time to run errands and make preparations - see #1.) If you have headsets, they should be used as much as possible.
#4 - Music recommendations - Ani DiFranco, Liz Phair, Alanis Morissette, Patsy Cline, Billie Holiday, Dolly Parton - a nice collection of anger and regret. Dave Matthews Band should be avoided, expecially if "Two Step" is you and your exes' song. (It still chokes me up everytime I hear it.)
#5 - Distract yourself - Doing things that are boring but that require focus are the best. I plan to finish my taxes and pay my bills. Be very careful watching cable as there will be a lot of "When Harry Met Sally" and "Sleepless in Seattle" type movies showing tonight.
#6 - Don't get drunk - a good bottle of wine is a nice distraction, but may cause you to forget that this is just one day out of the year and lead to one of those crying drunk things. Tomorrow you will be fine. You and your friends can all hang out and forget about this damn day until next year.
posted by Anonymous @ 2/13/2005 11:25:00 AM
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