I Stole This from Jameson
Jameson posted this disturbing list of advice for women with his comments added. I've added my own.1. "Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot."
Jameson - Find a guy with a large vocabulary, preferably sober.
AuntieT - Find a guy who calls you.
2. "who calls you back when you hang up on him"
Jameson - Who is so whipped that you have destroyed any other friendships that he might have had to fill his time.
AuntieT - Don’t be a bitch and hang up on him.
3. "who will stay awake just to watch you sleep."
Jameson - Who has a nasty problem with stalking, maybe even necrophilia.
AuntieT - Who will stay awake because he is making sweet love to you all night long.
4. "Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead and your hand"
Jameson - Wait for grandpa, from the sounds of it.
AuntieT - . . . and your mouth, and your neck, and your stomach, and your. . .
5. "who wants to show you off to the world even when you are in your sweatpants"
Jameson - Who wants to show you off to the world when you have 5 kids in a trailer and can't fit into anything but sweatpants, and whos wardrobe consists of nothing but ripped jeans and wifebeaters.
AuntieT - Who wants to show you off to the world but would just as soon stay home and get you out of your sweatpants.
6. "who holds your hand in front of his friends"
Jameson - And by friends, what you really mean is "who holds your hand" because a) girls love mushy shit, and b) who doesn't have any friends, because your insistance of being with him 24-7 has destroyed all of his friends' respect for him as a man, leading to no friends.
AuntieT – who plays footsie with you under the table when you are out drinking
7. "who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on."
Jameson - Because he's drunk.
AuntieT - but doesn’t complain when you take 15 minutes to put your makeup on before you go out.
Jameson - Wait for the one who constantly calls you and writes you love letters......IN BLOOD.
AuntieT - Wait for the one who doesn’t have to be constantly reminded to pay his bills and clean up after himself.
9."and how lucky he is to have you"
Jameson - In his basement.
AuntieT - and he is lucky because he is from Ireland and he has an accent and he is tall with red hair and drinks Guinness
(oops! lapsed into dream sequence)
10. "Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "That's her."
Jameson - Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...That's her, that's the bitch who ruined my social life and makes me watch Sex and the City with her friends. I have no balls."
AuntieT - Wait for the one who turns to you because you are his friend or because he just woke up and wants to tell you good morning (in his special way).
posted by Anonymous @ 4/14/2005 08:04:00 PM
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