I asked god for a sign
Tonight my friend was in town from Telluride. Everytime she is in town, we have a party to celebrate her being in town - don't ask me, I don't know. I've been in town for years and no one throws me a freakin' party.Anyway, I'm having a little bit of a hard time (I'm sure you are too polite to notice the desperation in my previous posts), so I tell god (whom I haven't spoken to in a good long time) that I really need a sign. By the end of the night, I've run into an old flame who tells me that he is seperated from his wife, my buddy who is playing in the band announces that it is his birthday and he would like a spanking (he offers to let me use his belt - Yikes!), and I run into Transition Man who asks me if he could take me out again.
My friends in attendance start rattling off quotes from "He's Just Not That into You" and tell me that I absolutely cannot go out with him the first time he asks. I can, however, go out with him if he asks a second time. This sounds to me like the super-scary book "The Rules." I attempt to be completely noncommittal telling him to give me a call, and we'll see. Did god give me a sign or am I just reading too much into things?
I also pissed off several people tonight as often my inner censor does not work as fast as my big mouth:
Example #1 - I have a guy friend who is a great guy friend, but kind of a lousy boyfriend with a reputation for liking both the back door and video tape. At the party, he is accused of not having a heart. A debate insues. One of my best, good girlfriends says "R., you have a heart, don't you? You would be sad if I died tomorrow, wouldn't you?" R. doesn't say anything, so I say, "sure he'd be sad if you died. He hasn't f***ed you up the a**, has he?" Everyone dies laughing as this is a perfect joke for this guy. I even feel a little bad as so many people have cracked up at my zinger. I'm obviously an asshole.
Example #2 - Later in the evening, we go to our girlfriend's bar. She is recently engaged and happy as hell with a gorgeous ring. We repeat the story to her of the zinger described above, but her son, who works in her restaurant as a server, walks up as I finish the story. Friend is mortified that I have talked about sex - the gross kind, especially - in front of her barely 21 yoa son. I apologize, not realizing that this has always mortified her and am kind of feeling like an ass again even though everyone at the table who knows R. is totally cracking up about the zinger.
What is a girl to do? I know that I have a potty mouth. I don't swear in front of preachers, small children, or my parents. Can a girl not talk trash at a party or at a bar? AuntieT has crossed the line (but, holy cow, it was funny).
posted by Anonymous @ 4/23/2005 11:32:00 PM
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