Have you ever seen something that you wish you had never seen? Something so unappealing that you actually apologized to your eyes for seeing it? One of those instances happened to me yesterday while I was sitting outside of my boyfriend's apartment gazing aimlessly down his flight of stairs.
There's this crazy lady-thing who lives across the hall with two guys who seem rather normal. The first time we saw her, she was passed out in two chairs that she had pulled together right outside my boyfriend's apartment door. We only noticed her because of the loud screeching noise that we heard while she pulled the metal chairs across the cement floor. Since then, we have encountered her many times. She rings the doorbell and asks for a man named George. She rings the doorbell for no reason or asks for a cigarette. And she talks to the air.
She's tall(er than me), not fat, but not thin. She has stringy brunette hair, and we think she's on many drugs. We once heard a phone conversation she had with her mother. One thing really stood out to me in her conversation, "Well, if you hadn't of committed me for stabbing that guy, everything would be ok!!"
Ahh, Right -- That's not cool.
Like I said, I was staring down Danny's stairs and then she walked into my line of sight. She had on a band t-shirt - - that's it. I knew it wasn't her shirt because it took up the entirety of her body. She walked around for a minute and then stopped in front of a door. She went to ring the door bell, I think, but instead, she lifted up the enormous t-shirt and revealed a true sight for sore eyes. She had on nothing under this t-shirt. NOTHING. And then. AND THEN, She walked away from the door, towards the staircase, shirt still up, and sat down at the bottom of the stairs on the ground, butt-ass naked and started petting a cat.
I turned around in my seat to face the other direction. I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or puke. And even then, if I had laughed, I don't know if it would have been out of true humor, or confusion, or if I was just extremely uncomfortable. My family tends to laugh when they are uncomfortable -- I blame my Dad.
I stayed seated outside for a moment, my mind blank. Then I retreated indoors where I sat down, speachless. I am still in awe. It was so effing random. Normal people don't do that. Many drugs. Many, many drugs.
the thing you wish you'd said
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"L’esprit d’escalier" doesn’t really have a phrase with the same meaning in English, but the literal translation is “the wit of the stairs.” It is when you have just walked away from an argument or discussion where you’ve been kind of shocked or stumped, then you think of the perfect thing that you didn’t say, but it is too late; your wit didn't catch up to you until you were already on the stairs.
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